bad news bears.

I got some bad news today. When I heard about it I thought to myself "this is the worst thing you could tell me right now". I really am stressed out about it, and really don't know what I'm going to do next to fix it. It's going to be hard to deal with, that much is true, but since my first reaction I have lots about worse things it could have been.
There are million things worse than this that could have happened. This is going to make a rough couple of weeks or month or so but we'll figure it out and count our blessings til then.
Blessing number 1: Eric and I are going to study in Austria in the fall. We are getting ready for our extra long European honeymoon (basically) starting in September. He's been working hard to apply for this for the past couple months or so. Hearing good news back about that was a great way to start the week.
Blessing number 2: Eric got the summer job he was hoping for. This one has also been a work in progress for a while now, but he's heard back now and will be working in an accounting position for the summer, which is just fantastic!
Blessing number 3: A ride home from work (leaving half an hour early) with my wonderful future father-in-law. Isn't that handy to have him working here with me.
This day sucks, but tomorrow will be better. Everything is going to be just fine! I am LUCKY to still have what I do, and to be able to look forward to some great things!

Friday.

The weekend really is starting to look as good as the week has been. Today was a great day. I got to see Eric before work, and he even drove me into work because I was so ridiculously late this morning that I think he felt bad for me (and he is just so wonderful and kind).
This morning I opened a letter that came from home last night. Inside was a lovely note from Mom and also a little sample of the bridesmaid dress fabric. I was excited to get this in the mail because this colour is my wedding colour. It's the colour I love and can't describe to anyone. It's the colour that is really hard to match, but that I need to coordinate other important things (such as flowers and accessories and decorations) with. So I am very happy to have that now. It's just one more step in finishing up some wedding plans. Eric and I made some lists this week of things to finish planning and doing and buying and delegating. W got a bunch checked off last night, and I am excited to work on more this weekend!
Also in the mail: A present I ordered for Eric. I am really excited about this gift, and have been waiting for it for a long time. It came up from the States so it cause stuck sitting in customs for a week or so but it is finally here. I can't wait for him to pick me up from work so I can see him and give it him. Mail is honestly the most exciting thing I think. I just love it!
It looks like it's going to be a good weekend of family time, wedding planning, and gift giving. But these next 67 minutes can't go fast enough!

a week full of LUCK

We have been so LUCKY to have some exciting things come our way this week. I really wished this week that I had a camera. There were so many great moments to capture and so many fun things to remember. Many mental pictures were taken.
MONDAY:
I came home from work and Michelle had the evening off. That hardly ever happens. There is hardly a night of the week when Michelle's not working, and I'm not out worrying about things with Eric somewhere. I didn't have much time at home after work before I had to go back out to the gym though. With only 6 more weeks to go when I will have time to work out, my gym time is crucial and very important to me. Michelle and I spent a couple of hours after work engaging in some much needed girl talk and cutting out newspaper clippings to start my next wedding decoration brain wave. It's going to be good. And now thanks to Michelle I am just about ready to actually start working with all the paper we got cut out. Exciting.
TUESDAY:
Was the biggest day of this week. I've never had a really close friend come home from a mission before, when I got to be there. Tuesday was fun because a very special someone (who I have never actually met in person) came home to us from the San Bernardino, California mission. Logan Persson, Eric's younger brother, is now home and safe after two years of diligently teaching and sharing the wonderful gift of the Gospel that has blessed his life and the life of his family and friends. It was so cool to finally meet him. I've seen his pictures everywhere, including baby pictures. I've heard all the embarrassing childhood stories. I've spent countless hours, days and holidays with his family. I received his emails for the last half of his mission. And this week I finally got to meet him. It was very cool!
WEDNESDAY:
The St. Patty's Day leprechauns were out a day early and brought us something very exciting. At school yesterday Eric picked up an envelope of very exciting information. He has been granted a very very cool opportunity that I am so excited for him for. He's worked so hard for it, and it's something he's really wanted for a long time. Someday soon I might even tell you what it is. Right now, it's kind of a secret. It's not really, but I like to keep secrets so this one is going to stay as quiet as possible, for as long as possible. I am just so very excited for him though.
THURSDAY:
Despite waking up today at 6:35 when I am supposed to leave the house at 7 at the latest, I've had a pretty good day. That was a bumpy start, and yes it's true that I haven't washed my hair today, but I have seen a change in my attitude this past week that has been a real blessing for me. I started to be more conscious about praying in the mornings, and spending extra time at work doing productive things like reading and such. It has helped me to stay so positive this week. It hasn't been a supper easy week, but I have been able to pick out so many little wonderful things each day that have made me feel great about life right now.
Here are 17 tender little moments I was LUCKY to see and think about this week:
1. the excitement of family gathered to greet their missionary, returning with honour
2. a little girl more excited than anything about a waterfall
3. a small baby slowing growing into a little boy
4. a family of kids excited to play together and help each other out
5. a moment of gratitude on pay day for the wonderful opportunity I have to be so prosperous
6. good customer service at a cable company (granting me internet adn cable for $10.35 a month)
7. a moment of gratitude for my home and safety while I passed a man smoking pot at 7:45am at the train station
8. time spent catching up with an old friend I don't get to spend much time with these days
9. the excitement on Eric's face when he opened that letter
10. the fact that he writes his last midterm today and we have a free night
11. an email and phone call from home
12. a moment of excitement and confirmation of my decisions this morning as two older people in my office tried to talk me out of being married so young
13. numerous times that the bus showed up right on time and got me to work on time against all odds
14. a ride home from work yesterday from a generous co worker
15. the sunshine and melting snow in Calgary this week!
16. a couple of great motivations talks a read and discussed a little bit with Eric
17. how easily these 17 answers came to me right now
It really has been a wonderful week. I think that probably 15 out of 17 of these could and maybe do happen to me every week, but this week as I worked hard to improve my attitude, they just jumped out to me. I saw the Lord's hand in everything this week, and it made me so much more grateful. Each things I noticed and like about this week I saw as a blessing from the Lord that I really needed. My life really is great, but my attitude has been awful. I am LUCKY to have Eric and his positive attitude to picked me up, make realize I was in the wrong, and start to appreciate the blessing I have and that we have. It really was a wonderful week. I can't wait to see what the weekend will hold.

pretty pink thing.

Well there is really nothing pretty about this little pink frustration I am referring to. Right now I am on a little pink pill that makes me the moodiest person you will ever meet. It's designed to do wonderful things, and so far it's done those, but the side effects are almost outweighing the benefits at this point. Since taking the pill I have been some of my crankiest and moodiest, least motivated, frustrated with life and upset. People say that sometimes that comes with being engaged (which also fits the time line). They say some of your best and worst times as a couple can happen when you're engaged or first married. Some of the hardest, and some of the most fun. Well, I refuse to believe that as much of the bad actually comes from being in this kind of relationship, and more from the fact that I have now been pumped full of artificial hormones for 24 days straight.

Tonight I went from being completely numb, with no motivation to even go to the gym, to being angry and frustrated with Eric, to being angry and frustrated with myself, to laughing at a TV show I normally think is just stupid, to crying because sent Eric home early when I was upset at him (less than an hour before), and I'm not anymore. I miss him now and want him to come back. Unfortunately, I already sent him home and to bed when I was cranky. I hate this little pink pill. I really wish there was a better way to do the good things it's supposed to.

Ugh. That's my rant for tonight. That's all I have to say.

gifts. gifts. gifts.

Today after work Eric and I plan to go register for wedding gifts. I am very excited about this, because shopping for apartment things is my very favourite kind of shopping. I love decorating the house and unpacking boxes, so the idea have soon having a brand new apartment to fill with brand new things is very exciting to both Eric and me. We've picked a couple of places to go look at before we decide which is best. We've picked the Bay, Home Outfitters, and Bed Bath and Beyond. Any suggestions? I can't wait to use those little scan guns, I will have way too much fun with that. This will be just another proof of why a bride needs a groom: to keep her under control when she's [scan] shopping. On my newly married apartment wish list:

Monday mail call

Yesterday was a pretty average Monday. I woke up late, hardly got myself ready, went to work and froze on the way, and had a lousy day at work. I didn't make it to the gym yesterday because my back was SO sore I could hardly even walk. I should have gone anyway to stretch it out and help it get better, but I didn't. I stayed home and made wedding decorations and watched real estate shows on HGTV instead.
This Monday was great though, as far as mail goes. What a good day! Yesterday we were LUCKY to find:
1. Tamara Nalder's mission call. Family and friends of this wonderful girl gathered and predicted as she anxiously waited to open the envelope. Despite her certainty that she would be speaking French, she is headed to the southern states at the end of August.
2. Eric got a letter from the school saying he is on the dean's business list. That was exciting, because it means that all of his hard work and diligence is paying off, and although it is just a piece of paper, I am proud of him for working so hard to get it!
3. Wedding invitations. The invitations came to Eric's house while I was at work, so his Dad told me they were there and I was so excited all day to see them. I noticed as well this week that I ordered the wrong size envelopes (silly me: ones that fit the invites but are just a little too small to fit a photo), so I was kind of nervous to see what else would go wrong with them. On the way to Eric's house, from Tamara's house I convinced myself that I really didn't have the right to be nervous about opening mail after that, so I decided not to worry about what colour pink they turned out to be, or what kind of paper it ended up being like. Which was fine, because they ended up being PERFECT. I designed them myself, so they really aren't anything fancy or spectacular. They look just how I wanted them to though, so that is exciting.
Sometimes I just love mail. It can make everyone so happy and excited sometimes!

Organization.

I am a firm believer that organization is key to happiness. I cannot focus my energy or my thoughts when I am a mess, my space is a mess, or my time is a mess. Work is starting to pick up and I em being given real jobs to do now. I am keeping busy and starting to enjoy it. This afternoon I started to tidy one of the drawers that was full of stuff when I got here, and I just couldn't stop there. I started to settle into my desk and it felt good. Things have a place now, and it feels good. I know where to reach for things, and they are all right there ready to be used. It's great! I am happy where I am, and therefore want to settle in.



I'm also starting to organize wedding things a bit more. My room is a bit more organized. My life is a bit more organized.
I'm happy because I'm organized. And I just want to organize everything because it makes me happy. I think that's weird, but I really do think that I'm LUCKY to have it as one of my strengths. It keeps me in order and helps me to be able to get things done for me and for other people. I just love it.

Inspiration.

Tonight I am finally going to get to start making wedding decorations. I can't wait to put all my creative brain waves into action. I can't share details right now (obviously), but I will share with you some inspiration.

I'll be leaving work soon and on my way to Michaels for more inspiration and supplies. I am just so very excited! and LUCKY that it's so close to work so I can get home fast and start working!

Goals.

It being March, the third month of the year, I think it's about time I set some goals for myself. Since that's supposed to be done on January 1st, I think that March 2nd is just about the appropriate time for me to get started. Sometimes I get on these highs of motivation. I don't know where they come from, and can never tell how long they will last, but I just love them when they come. Things are going well. Eric and I are doing well. Wedding plans are coming along. Work is starting to pick up so I don't feel useless anymore. Tomorrow is supposed to warm up a bit. My family is safely and securely moved into a new home. I'm not a very positive person all the time, and it's hard for me to ignore the bad things to focus on the good, but right now I am feeling good.
I watched this talk today from the October 2008 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints, and it was so fantastic! I have listened to, read, watched or studied this talk at least 10 times. Every time it is perfect. It is always applicable. It is always encouraging. It is always uplifting.
So I am taking the motivation I have found today and sticking it into my life. First stop: the gym tonight. Sometimes I love the gym, and sometimes I hate it. Today I am going to choose to love it. It will help that it's Wednesday (my favourite day) and Eric will be there with me. If I'm LUCKY I'll be able to keep this motivation to get me through Thursday and the rest of my week, and longer.
So my goals...I have 3 as of right now that I am trying hard to work on before the 30th of April.
(1) To study my scriptures or a talk everyday. This is really something I should be doing anyway, and something I honestly love to do. For whatever reason I am just awful at making it a habit. Eric is really good at this, and together we sometimes read from the General Conference Ensigns on the way to work when he drives me, but I really want to get better at doing it on my own.
(2) Eric is also really good at staying positive. I really want to be better at this. Like I said, I often find it easy to see the negative parts of just about every situation (especially in the winter; there's just something about the cold that gets me so aggravated all the time). I know it probably brings him down when I am so negative all the time, so I really want to try to be more positive for myself and others.
(3) I need to make a habit out of working out. I know I won't change every flaw by April 30 but as long as I'm working on it then I'll feel better about myself. I really am LUCKY (even though I rarely admit it) to be blessed with a high metabolism. I get it from my Dad, along with my blue eyes, and I am grateful for it. But that doesn't mean it's at all perfect. It makes up for some of the effort I lack, but not all of it. A goal I have it to get better at going to the gym. Two or three times a week is all I need to start with, then maybe build up from there. Just something to get me started.
Well now I have talked way more than I planned to and have used up a lot more time. I should be going now so I can finish up a couple jobs before I get out of here. Abs: you are going to hate me tonight!

60 days

It has recently come to my attention that I only have two more months to plan my wedding. Hmmm. When I hear of couple getting engaged and then married in two months I think:

"that's crazy, that's so much work and planning and stress to fit into two months."

Now that my wedding date is 60 days away I am quickly realizing all the things I should have done already, that I have not. I've barely done anything it feels like. There is so much left to think about and plan and organize. We are so very quickly running out of time, and I'm just sitting here ranting about it. (mainly because I have looked at everything from wedding bands, to new apartments, to honeymoon packages today and I am at a stand still without Eric). I had a mini freak out at lunch time today, but Eric has assured me that everything will get done, and offered to sit down with me and work on some stuff tonight. After we go to an institute class on Eternal Marriage.
I really am so LUCKY to be getting married, but so ready to just be done with the wedding. I just want to be married, and not planning this wedding anymore. I want it all just to start coming together on it's own. If anyone has any suggestions for flowers, honeymoon destinations or places to buy wedding bands, please let me know!

Life is MARCHing on!

I LOVED a lot of things in February, but I am looking forward to March. I hope for March to be a great month, filled with lots more blogging. 15 posts in February. There are 3 extra days in March, so let's try for at least 18 posts! Wish me LUCK!

Support and Encouragement

I don't really know what I want to talk about today. I had a fantastic weekend though, and it has made my Monday go that much smoother. I read learned and reviewed some fantastic things this weekend that gave me the hope and encouragement I needed. Life is hard sometimes. Developing a routine of doing and being good things is sometimes really tough. Here are some words that stuck out to me today and this weekend, as I searched for ways to rededicate myself to what I need to be.
President Dieter Uchtdorf on Discipleship:

"apply and reapply the divine gospel principles...day after day"
"the very moment we set foot upon the pathway of discipleship, seen and unseen blessings from God begin to attend us."
"Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us-even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will."
"It is never too late."
"[Jesus Christ] is the redeemer of the world. He lived a perfect life and atoned for our sins. He will ever be at our side. He will fight our battles. He is our hope; He is our salvation; He is the way."

In Relief Society on Woman Hood:

"Am I the woman I want to be? Am I the woman I think I am? Am I the
woman the Savior needs me to be?" - Sherry Dew
We talked a lot about our divine roles as women, something I have not always appreciated as much as I've been taught to. We talked about becoming the woman He needs us to be, and how to do that. As we sang the song More Holiness Give Me, from the hymn book, I thought of how I don't need to do it alone. Becoming a woman that the savior can rely on to get things done, and be what He needs me to be, is a daunting task; one I'm not sure I'm upto yet. But I have His help, and the help of those around me to become what I need to. I am not in it alone, and I will never have to be. I will always have the support of my Father in Heaven, and of the savior, as long as I ask for it.
The thing that I LOVE most of all, is that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and I am starting to recognize, accept and embrace the details of that plan. If you don't believe he has a plan for you, just make one for yourself and watch as life plays out in the complete opposite way that you imagined. Note how you feel when it does. Thank Him for knowing best what to do with you and your life. I LOVE that I have been trusted with the divine responsibility of taking care of Eric for the rest of our lives, even though I never planned for it to happen that way.

Foundation

I don't have much to say tonight, and I didn't get any time to write at work today because I was so busy doing important things. I got a ride home from work today with my future father-in-law (Trevor), and thought a little bit about what I would write on the way home.

As we drove the sun was setting and on my side you could see the beautiful downtown Calgary skyline. I wish I had a camera to capture how pretty it looked with the sun setting just beside it. As we drove past it, Trevor explained to me that he used to work in one of the buildings that is now completely covered up by this MASSIVE building they're just finishing up. It's the biggest and tallest you see on the skyline, and your eyes are immediately drawn to its grandeur. He explained to me that he sat at the window of his office (in the building now shadowed by this one), and watched them start construction on it a few years back. He said that for the last year that he worked in that building he watched them work on only the foundation. Each day that he watched them, he saw them working on just digging a hole. Even after he switched companies and didn't watch the construction anymore, they continued with the hole digging for a whole second year. Two years it took them to dig and build the foundation of this grand structure. Two whole years, without anyone from the outside seeing much progress on the work. For the workers to continue everyday, for two whole years, to dig and build what seems to be an insignificant part of the structure, demonstrates the importance of this part of the work. It made me think for just a minute, how important it is to build a steady foundation. This big and beautiful building is now almost complete.

Now, only two years since the foundation was completed, this building is very near finished. It took the same amount of time to build this entire masterpiece, with windows and detailing and a cool elevator, and everything, as it did to build it's foundation.

Building a foundation requires patience, diligence, commitment and faith. Once we push through the hard times, the delicate and wearing times, and come out with a sturdy and flawless foundation, the following building process can run smoothly and more efficiently. With a foundation built on things that will not fall, which cannot fail, we are able to build our lives into a beautiful masterpiece. If I push through the trying and time consuming process of building myself a righteous and sturdy foundation, I will be able to more easily make the decisions and commitments that follow. Things will run more smoothly, if I have a foundation that will not fail me.

This turned out to be more than I thought I would write, but I think I needed to write it. I am working right now to build the foundation I need to diligently continue to make good choices. It's hard and tedious work, but I am excited for the foundation to be complete so I can start to see a time when each day and week, month and year, feels more and more productive and significant. I LOVE that I have been blessed to know where to start in making this foundation, and that I know the importance of it.

Worked out.

I am so tired today. It was another longish day today, but it was more productive than yesterday. I just love those days that you can look back on and appreciate what you were able to accomplish.

It was a good day of work, with lots to do. Things are picking up these days and I've been given lots more important stuff to do lately. Today I organized a couple of meetings, ordered some food, made a ton of photocopies, did the deposit and learned how to do some A/R calling.

As well as all the jobs I was given, and got done, I attended a lunch time meeting that made me feel like this day was very productive. Today I applied to have a certain amount of my pay check each month invested in an RSP. I don't really know all the details, because I'm not really good at this stuff. Eric will help me figure it out though, and I'm pretty excited about it.

Then after a long productive day at work, I travelled over to the school. I met up with Eric, which was wonderful, then we went to the gym together. I've actually never been to the gym with Eric. I've seen Eric at the gym a few times together but today we spent an hour working out together. He made me work my abs so hard I wanted to throw up. I actually thought I was going to throw up. It was fun though, we had a good time. I just LOVE the gym, but I'll LOVE it even more tomorrow when I can feel it. That's a good feeling!

Tonight I was home in time to get a load of laundry in the wash, then hung up to dry, then another load in. I LOVE clean clothes. I also had time to make myself a lunch for tomorrow (which was hard o do, because after the gym I feel a little like I should NEVEr eat food again so I can stay fit) and to watch an episode of my favourite show: Modern Family.

It was a really productive day, and it felt so good. I am tired, but I feel great. I am just tired enough to be ready for bed, but to feel good still.

S M T W Th F S

Today is Tuesday but feels a little bit like it should be Monday, since I had yesterday off. I was just thinking for a little bit about how each day seems to have it's own feel. Some are better than others. Some are more fun, some are more tiring. I actually feel like every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday etc (unless thrown off my a holiday or something) seems to have it's own feel to it.

Sunday: I go to church. I have a day to relax from work, and from errands, to anticipate what will happen that week. Sunday is a chance to recharge my battery and my motivation. Usually something learned or heard at church helps me to refocus my attention and goals to make the following week productive and encouraging. Sunday is the calm before the storm.
Monday: Sometimes Monday are discouraging. Right after the weekend, I often have a hard time getting up and starting my week. I never start Mondays in a positive way, and I feel that sometimes the dreary stress of Monday seems to suck out the energy and enthusiasm that came from Sunday. It's my day to look back on all the things I didn't get done on the weekend, that I now have to sort out.
Tuesday: Usually feels a little better than Monday. Tuesday seems to be the day when I can look at Monday for what it was (just one crumby day out of a week), and move on. Having said that, on Tuesday there is still almost an entire week ahead and it's still hard to see the end. I gain a little more perspective than I had on Monday (when my vision was clouded by tired eyes and bad hair days), and I am just pushing through.
Wednesday: Hump day. My favourite day of the working week. Wednesdays make me feel like I've already conquered the hard half of the week. At the end of Wednesday, you're closer to the weekend than you are to Monday. Wednesday gives me back my motivation to do better. With the weekend in sight, and the two worst days of the week under my belt, my vision is cleared, and I am better able to long for a brand new weekend, instead of mourning the past one.
Thursday: Is like Christmas eve. I know that Friday isn't quite considered the weekend, but nothing too stressful happens on Fridays. Thursday is the day before the end of the week. It is the day where I feel like I need to get things done so that I can relax after that. Think about it, the bank, the fabric store and my doctor's office are all open late on Thursdays. Why? So we can get things done, which were missed so far this week, and which can't wait til after the weekend.
Friday: Is casual day. At work and in life, I feel like. I get to wear whatever I want to work, and there is hardly anyone to see or work to do in the office. Fridays are a mini day off, where I am sitting at work, but not really working (although basically everyday is like that at this job). Friday is the night I get to stay out late and do whatever I want. I still want to reward myself with a rest and some fun after a day of work (which I think is what makes Friday night more fun than Saturday night), but I'm not at all tired because work was casual and lazy that day.
Saturday: Saturday morning is almost always relaxing. The weekend has to be two days long, because usually only half the things I plan for Saturday actually get done. It's a slow moving day. From sleeping in, to eating whatever I want when I want. This day usually has no real schedule and I am not bothered by what happens or doesn't happen on this day (until Monday when I have to worry about everything that didn't get done).

This is basically what my week usually ends up feeling like. After having Monday off though, I get to skip my least favourite feeling day of the week: Thursday. Today feels like Monday: a tired and rough start, however I am feeling good about things I got done this weekend (finally ordered wedding invitations; they'll be here in 3 weeks. went over the wedding budget with Eric's parents and they helped us to change and slim down a couple numbers; which always feels good). Tomorrow will feel like Tuesday: I'll realize I'm still alive and well after the rough blow of Monday. Thursday will turn into Hump Day. Then before I know, it will be Friday and I'll be in my jeans at work. I'm really hoping this is how it will go. It sounds like a strange theory, but I hope it will work. They say that your attitude is important in defining your mood, so I have a positive attitude about this week ahead. It will be short and easy, and won't have a Thursday. That sounds like a good week to me!

Family Day

Today was Family Day, a day to be off work and to spend with family. I was thinking of my family back home today so I gave Mom a quick call. I sure do miss her, and every time I call home she's playing a game with one of the kids (usually Hannah). I LOVE how much my family loves board games. On a good day, when our competitive natures are under control, board games are such a fun way for us to spend time as a family, and I really do miss playing with my siblings. I LOVE and miss my family.

I spent the rest of the day at Eric's house. His niece and nephew were over today so I got to spend some time playing with them, and it was fantastic. His niece has recently learned to say my name, and I must say she loves to use it. It is so exciting to know that she loves me and that she now has attached me to Eric. She doesn't get excited to see Eric without also getting excited to see me. I LOVE that she has accepted me as Auntie Katherine already. The nephew is younger and him and I didn't get off on a great foot. I don't do well with newborn babies, and I think they can smell my fear. I am usually tense and uncomfortable holding them, and I think he knew it. But today, and more recently, he's begun to warm up to me, and me to him. It's fantastic. We actually have a good relationship now. I get smiles and giggles all the time, and today I even got a hickey. I LOVE that he's comfortable around me now and recognizes how much I really do LOVE him. Two is always better than one, and soon I will technically (although it already feels official) have TWO whole families. I LOVE the chance I have to get a whole new add on family to love and take care of me while I'm away from home and missing my own family members!

Tonight I told Eric that because it was Family Day I wanted to spend time with just him, as opposed to going out with a group of people, because he was my soon to be family. (Basically just a lame excuse to spend time just me and him watching a good movie and snuggling). But it worked because he said "you already are my family. let's just watch a movie". I LOVE being our very own little family of two already, and the idea of someday having our very own family of however many are waiting for us.

Family is so important and has recently been on my mind a TON. I LOVE the Gospel, and the chance it gives me to be with my parents and siblings forever. I am grateful to be preparing to be sealed to Eric so that we can start our eternal family. And I am grateful for those people, obligated or otherwise, who have adopted me as family; for all of those people who have taken care of me when I needed it and loved me, even when I may not of deserved it. I LOVE you all.
Thank You!

The Beatles Here Comes the Sun Music Video

A favourite song takes on even more meaning while I listen to in the relaxing and much needed sunshine. Doesn't it make you just want to have a great day, and weekend? I LOVE the Beatles and all their glorious melodic creations!

in the Sun.

I hate taking medication. I don't know where I ever came up with this idea that taking medication makes me weak. I have this weird thought that I can fight off anything on my own, and that my body can deal with anything that comes it's way. Since living with a couple of girls who were OBSESSED with vitamins, and since having Eric to assure me that medication is okay to take sometimes, I've kind of started to come around on the idea. But last night I went to the walk-in clinic for my strep throat and got a prescription for 2 medicines to take! Eric went in the day before to a different doctor and got a pill he takes once a day for 5 days and he's done. Last night I got prescribed a pill to take 3 times a day for 7 days, PLUS some weird mouth wash type thing to gargle with 3 times a day for 7 days. So now I'm taking 2 medications for strep, with 2 types of vitamins I'm supposed to be taking, my birth control pill, and halls to make my throat feel better, until it gets better.

I feel a little bit silly relying this much on capsules, liquids and gels, but I'm getting over it. I'm already starting to feel a little better and that's a good sign. So I took my two strep medications this morning, along with some halls. I got my appetite back for breakfast, which is also good. So now I've just been sitting at home watching HGTV decorating and selling shows for like 2.5 hours. Laying in the sun of my living room. I LOVE the sun. I think it's half the reason I'm feeling better - maybe more. I feel so great when I'm in the sun. It's so relaxing and bright and wonderful. I know it sounds silly, but I feel like all of my inspiration, revelation and comfort comes when I'm in the sun. My throat isn't bothering me, and neither is the medication. I feel great, and am REALLY looking forward to a sunny and relaxing long weekend. I LOVE long weekends. Especially when the sun is out (even if it's cold).

I just redid my blog layout, cleaned 3 board rooms, played a game online, went to the bathroom, and got a hot chocolate. I still have an hour, and I am out of things to do.

A couple of Sickies

Tuesday night, Eric and I had out wonderful Valentine's Day celebration. We made dinner together and just spent some time. It wasn't anything outrageous or over done. It was just nice.
Then last night he was sick :( I got really sick on Monday night, and he came home early from school to snuggle me and take care of me (that was the best Valentine's present I could have gotten at that time). I was sick like I've never been before and it was strange. I was kind of scared, and he came to my rescue so fast that he was almost still out of breath (from running to the car so fast) when he got to my house. It was so great to have him there for me, he was all I needed and he came for me. It was perfect.
Then last night when he got sick, I planned to take care of him. I came straight home and turned the heat up in the apartment and tried to make it a place he would be comfortable while he tried to rest and feel better. So he came to my house after school, we ran quickly to the store, then came home so I could take care of him. Guess what happens next. I FELL ASLEEP. I fell asleep for like 3 hours, and he assured me it was okay because he did too, but I felt like the worst fiance ever. I think I might actually be the worst ever. He was there when I needed him, and then when he needed me, I fell asleep. but I got what I deserved for it. When I woke up from my nap, and this morning, I had the sorest throat. Now I have a fever too. Since I didn't take good enough care of him, his sickness spread to me.
Now we are just two sickies. He's at the doctor, instead of at school today, and I am doing no good at my job today. I am pretty much useless. I am freezing! I am sore (you know the sore you get when you're sick and cold and can't get better. everything hurts to touch you). And I am really cranky. I just can't wait for this day to be over, and it's dragging on SOOOO SLOWLY. I can't believe I still have like 2.5 hours til I can get out of here. I am seriously miserable. I just want to be at home. I want Eric to take care of me, and I want to take care of him. So in other words, I just want to snuggle with him so we can both be lazy and sick, but warm, together!
AND to make this day worse, and for further proof of my crappiness as a fiance: I forgot to put my ring back on after I put my hair product in today. So I left the house cold, in a mess, late and without my ring.....so naturally I drew one on, to make me feel better, and to be a constant little reminder of how much I actually do LOVE my life, even when things get tired, cold, sore and miserable. (Do note how blochy and veiny my hands are though. Freezing.)