7.28.2010

the United States.

So we are officially on the road now! Our first stop is somewhere in Maine, called Bangor, I think. (Don't quote me on that though) We are driving through the US to get to Ontario.
Today we plan to make it to Boston, to visit my favourite uncle, David, and to meet up with Trevor's parents. I just love the border. I love that they ask you the silliest questions, and I love being able to cross, completely innocently, into their country. It's the same thing when I go to the airport, I LOVE going through security and all that stuff. I don't know why, it's just nice to know I'm innocent in a situation where they always assume you're not. I've got nothing to hide, so check it all you want!
I love my Canadian passport. I am Canadian, through and through, and (even though they stretched out my face and made me look sick in my photo) I love showing that off!
So after a long, hot line up, and some question from a pleasant man named Farley, I thank you USA for a warm welcome and am excited for my visit!
(but Telus charges me lots of money to use my phone and the internet on my phone in your fine country, so I will talk to you in a couple of days when I'm back in Canada!)

7.27.2010

Dartmouth - Moncton - St John

This morning was a big mess (as it always is the day I go anywhere big) and I was lucky to even get everything done. I searched the whole town for a dress to buy, because we figured that would be faster than my mom making the one we started. It was ridiculous trying to find something that didn't almost show my bum. I'm gonna sound like an old woman here but, why do they keep charging more and more for clothes, while they're making them with less and less material. It is so frustrating! But finally in the very last store we had time for I found a dress and a pair of shorts too. I asked my mom why it's always the very last store you go into that has what you want, and she so smartly replied, in a mocking tone:
"because once you find what you're looking for, you don't go into anymore stores."
I suppose that's true, but sometimes I wish I could find what I'm looking for in store #1.
So we finished shopping and getting money and all the last minute errands and got home with 15 minutes for me to pack. It was ridiculous. I was throwing things everywhere looking for stuff. It was crazy. But I got it done and got on the bus for 1:10PM, on my way to Trevor's place in St John, New Brunswick.

While on the bus I had two things I needed to do right away. Check my list to make sure I didn't forget anything, and get some sleep! I managed to make it out of the house forgetting only 2 things: my body lotion, and a towel, both of which are quite replacable, thank goodness. Then I rested and read all the way to Moncton.
In Moncton:
I have a lay over here in Moncton for an hour. I'm sitting here trying to tell Trevor that and I've somehow managed to turn off the connection for my phone. I can't make calls or send messages or use any internet things. So I finally call Telus (which I hate doing, I always feel stupid for these kinds of things), after playing with it for the whole hour, and turns out I had switched it to line 2, which is actually for my old Calgary number, and not activated on my handset. What a freaking mess. But finally, as we're getting back on the road, my phone is back in action and I am able to entertain myself with it all the way to St. John.
Stay tuned for more crazy adventurous travel stories (for now I sleep).

7.26.2010

Beautiful Day

I had a million things to do today (for my trip I leave on TOMORROW) and I got none of them done. Ordinarily this would be a very disappointing thing; a frustration I've been all too familiar with lately. But not today; today was good.
I spent most of the day with my good friend MEGAN. I just love this girl, she's fantastic. She's lots of fun and always good for a laugh. Her and I ventured to the great city of Halifax today, to see what we could find. We did a little shopping, looking at some cute dresses and things. Then we ate some lunch at My Father's Moustache, a cute little restaurant downtown Halifax. We finished off our day with a nice long walk, and picture fest, in the Public Gardens. The Public Gardens are great, I just love them. In the middle of the hustle and bustle of Spring Garden road, there is a lovely little place, tucked away in a little gate, where it is very beautiful and quite peaceful.
For me, Megan is a lot like these gardens I love so much. (Oh yes, I'm going somewhere with this!) She is beautiful, inside and out, for one thing, and she is just such a breath of fresh air. Megan and I met in high school and I think she's one of the only girls I still keep in good contact with. It's nice to still have her as a great friend; great to know we made through the drama and mess of our high school years. In the middle of our crazy busy lives, that are always changing, I always have Megan, and I'm sure I always will. I just love those friends that you can escape the world with. When you just have simple, fun and beautiful memories with, no matter what is messy around you.
So while, in our lives, there are so many awful messes and so many cranky people, who make so many of our days lousy and stressful, here's to the wonderful little things and those beautiful people , who help to make those lovely and enjoyable days we all need to get us through the week!

7.25.2010

There is still hope.

Today in my home ward a lovely lady named Michelle, who is a good friend of my mom's, spoke in Sacrament Meeting. I wasn't there to hear it, but my dad told me a little bit about what she had to say, and I just loved it. She said that she has been on several diets and that she always starts new ones and then gives up on them soon after. She always starts them on Mondays. Monday is the beginning of her week and that's the right day for a fresh new start. This cycle can be discouraging at times, but knowing that there will always be Mondays gives her the hope she needs to keep going.
I am the same way with Sundays. Each week I start out on a spiritual high and get excited for things to come, as I get to apply the new things I learn at church. However, I all too often give up on it again soon enough. Life sometimes just gets to me, and I lose that enthusiasm that I had on Sunday. But I have hope knowing that there will always be more Sundays. On those days when it just seems so hard, like I've done it all so wrong, it's good to know that, in less than a week, another fresh start will come along. In less than a week another chance will come for me to try a little harder to be a little better.
As far as fresh starts go, today was a real good one.
I am glad for the things I learned today at church, which are my motivation, right now, to start this week out on the right foot.
I am glad to have finally finalized plans for a trip I'm taking to Ontario this week. All the planning and confusion is finally out of the way and the countdown is on. (I leave Tuesday night or Wednesday morning).
And I am glad I had a good discussion with my parents. Lately we have just been really butting heads. Our discussions are NEVER uplifting and always end in fights. But tonight we made progress, (that is to say, we at least didn't move BACKWARDS). I entered and left the conversation feeling exactly the same way, but at least I didn't feel worse after it, right? That's a step forward in my books.
Days like today give me hope I need to get through the uncertainties of tomorrows. Last week was a mess, but today was a fresh start. I hope this week will be better (becasue today was good) but if it's not, I am glad to know that there are always more Sundays where this one came from!

7.24.2010

Ingrid Michaelson

This Saturday night I find myself more grateful than ever to meet the relief of another week over and done with. This week was really hard and stressful and frustrating for me for some reason. I was very emotional (which I NEVER am, about ANYTHING), and I still can't understand where it all came from. But at the end of it all, I am glad to have just made it out alive, as well as learning a couple of good things, from a couple of unexpected sources.
I'm not much in a creative writing or talking kind of mood tonight, and so I will share a little with you about someone elses creativity that has inspired me this week.
Ingrid Michaelson is a singer that my sister really started to like when she was learning how to play the piano. Now my whole family listens to her, as I'm sure many of you do too, because she is just so fantastic. Her songs are so catchy and she has this remarkable ability to somehow write songs that just hit everything I'm feeling right on the head. Everything I need to hear (as far as quick and easy pick me ups are concerned) are contained in these catchy little tunes. Here are a couple of songs worth hearing, with a couple of messages worth listening to.

Keep Breathing:
"I want to change the world, instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me
But all that I know is I'm breathing. All I can do is keep breathing."
Be OK:
"I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok. I just wanna be ok today...
I just want to know today, know today, know today. Know that maybe I will be ok!"
Breakable:
"And we are so fragile...and we are just
breakable breakable breakable girls and boys."
This one is my personal favourite. It's such a happy little song and it's something I over look way too much. I'm not much of a touchy feely type of girl and sometimes I lose track of just how important it is to have those people in your life who just love love love you! (and just as importantly: who YOU love love love) Think about who they are, who do you just love to love?
Everybody:
"We have fallen down again tonight, In this world it's hard to get it right.
Trying to make your heart fit like a glove, what it needs is love love love.
Everybody, everybody wants to love. Everybody, everybody wants to be loved."
What's your inspiration for a crummy day, or week, or month? Any recommendations for real good (wholesome and lega) pick me ups?

7.21.2010

in 5 years.

Today was another kind of crumby day. It didn't feel too productive and I'm still, as u have been lately, in a yucky rut that I can't seem to escape.
I got into a big fight with my parents tonight about it. It's hard because I already know what they're going to say when I ask them for advice and they already know that I'm not going to like it. So round and round we go in this big circle of frustration, solving NOTHING. We get each other so wound up that eventually the only way out of the mess is to spiral out of control, at an unbearable speed in an extememly inorderly fashion. So tonight, about half through the spiral, I just had to stop. I walked away still hanging mid air, half wound up tight and half way out of control. So here are 3 good things to help intangle me from a mess (instead of just letting go to see what happens):
(1) Running.I hate to run. I have never been a good runner, and the idea of going out and just...running...had always been a bit hazy to me. But since I've started going to the gym and stuff, running is a life saver. I still don't do it too often; I would much rather just do weights or yoga or something, but a midnight run, when you can hear nothing but your own breathing and footsteps, does real good work for the mind.
(2) talking with a real good friend. I know these are all really cliché, but its fantastic how reliable they all are, in my inconsistent and spirally life. When I got back from my run, I texted my long distance work out buddy, James. Him and I have been trying to encourage each other (from separate ends of the country) to work out lots this summer. James always makes me feel good about myself, and he always makes for good conversation. I just love the chances I get to talk with him, and can't wait to be his next door neighbour, come the fall, back in Calgary.
(3) a real good book. I'm still reading God Never Blinks, and I'm still loving it. I just read it everyone once in a while when I need something uplifting, but not too intense. When I got home tonight I went out into the cool and quiet back yard and read a chapter of my book. I read Lesson 26- "Frame Every So-Called Disaster with These Words: 'In Five Years, Will This Matter?'", and you know what, it won't.
In 5 years it won't matter that:
-I fought with my parents tonight
-this summer is not going, at all, according to "the plan"
-today was a crummy, unproductive day
-I don't know how I'm going to pay for school
-or that, if worst come to worst, I don't end up being able to go to school this semester
-or that I have a head ache from running, and cannot sleep
There are so many things going on right now for me that just will not matter 5 years from now. Some won't matter in 5 months; some in 5 weeks; some in 5 days.
I worry too much about the small things. I am glad for these tiny moments when I am relaxed enough to at least recognize that. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it right? I don't have enough brain space for such little tiny issues. In five years from now, will I even remember this blog entry? Absolutely not! So it's time to stop worrying. Here it goes.

7.19.2010

"you've got mail, those are very powerful words" - Joe Fox, You've Got Mail

Today was kind of a boring and lousy day. I didn't do too much before heading out to work, and it was kind of disappointing.So I went off to work feeling kinda down about today, but the day finished off quite nicely after that.
When my mom picked me up from work she and my brother and sisters had gotten Wendy's, so my mom took me back and I enjoyed a lovely crispy chicken go wrap, with some fries. It was delicious! I haven't had fast food in months and thought that I would hate it when I did, but I loved it!Then when I got home, I had a big box of fun waiting for me on my bed! Everybody loves getting mail right? (even if I already know what's in the box) and while the actual package wasn't SUPER exciting, the opening of it was delightful! All that this box contained was a bunch of stuff that was packed in my suitcases, coming home from calgary, that made them over weight. When my good friend Eric drove me to the airport, at 5 in the morning the day I came home, my suitcases were each about 10 pounds overweight. So about 15 minutes before my flight left we sat on the floor of the Calgary airport and pulled out random things that I didn't think I would need for a while.
Truth me told though, I haven't really missed most of the stuff we took out at all. But there are a few things that I am very grateful to him for returning to me:
(1) My sweet pea lotion.The day before I left Calgary I went shopping and bought myself nice new Bath and Body Works lotion. I love this lotion, but I accidently packed in my carry on for my flight, forgetting that I have a max of 100 ml of gels or liquids to bring on the plane. So I had to leave it behind.
(2) My bright green hoodie. When Michelle came to visit me in Calgary, we went on a road trip with our guy friends. In an effort to embarass them intensly, we bought matching bright green sweatshirts and hot pink sweatpants to wear around them! They were so precious and we loved them, but it weighs a ton. So at the airport it was lying on top and it was too heavy to take home. So I had to leave it behind.
(3) My graduation ring. When I graduated high school my grandma bought me a ring and I haven't taken it off my hand since. When I was packing up my room it got bent and I took it off for a bit. I accidently left it lying on the floor. So it got left behind.
But now, thanks to Eric, I've got all these precious things back in my possession! And I got them in a big box with my name on it, that I got to rip open tonight! Don't you just love getting mail?

7.18.2010

No Title.

I don't know where I'm planning to go with this entry, I don't know what I'm going to write about. I do know that I have not felt upto much of anything lately, and tonight I felt upto writing.
I've mentioned a lot about what's going on here, but I haven't done much character development, as far as this story goes.
Something you must know about me is that I am extremely self motivated: I do things my way, for me, and because I have things to prove, TO ME. I do not like to take advice; I do not like to ask for or accept help with anything; and I, under no circumstance, enjoy being corrected or redirected. Well just by reading, not even needing to know me, I think it's safe to assume that this kind of attitude can raise some frustration. Right now, this is where I have come to. I have spent so long doing it on my own that I don't even know how to ask for help anymore. I refuse to, even when I know I should (and I do know that I should). Beyond being too stubborn to ask for help or advice or whatever, I'm not even motivated enough to do anything different right now.
It's a really weird place I'm in, and I don't quite know how to deal with it. It's very strange. I just know that I've been doing a whole lot of things that mean a whole lot of nothing lately. I don't know how to get back in action, to feel again like I'm being productive. I'm not quite sure how to get back to being me: I miss me, whoever that is.
This was just a little something about me. I'm not a bad person (I don't think), there are just times when I am not motivated to be the best person I know I can be. Right now is one of those times. I'm just scraping by, living a mediocre life. I don't do much, I don't see much, I don't think much and I don't achieve much. I am working toward the next big thing. That thing that will force me onto a real path, (making me able to take sure steps) leading to a real destination. I'll get there eventually, I know I will. But right now I'm working slowly, with no real intention of picking up the speed. Until further notice, I'm just crusing and not peddaling.

7.11.2010

Hello Alyssa

I've missed you all lately. We've been having computer troubles, and I have been a little bit lazy as well. I had a really good day today though and thought I should get back into the habit of writing on a high note. As I think I've mentioned, Sundays are my very favourite days! I love going to church, and I love spending the day doing uplifting things.
I got called last week as a teacher in the Relief Society, for my little branch. Today's lesson was a really good one, on the priesthood, and I thank my lovely ladies for their insights. I learned lots and it was really good. Just a quick quote that I just loved from this lesson:
"A loving Father in Heaven has sent his sons and daughters here to mortality
to gain experience and to be tested. He has provided the way back to him and
has given us enough spiritual light to see our way. The priesthood of God gives
light to his children in this dark and troubled world. Through priesthood power,
we can recieve the gift of the Holy Ghost to lead us to truth, testimony, and
reveltaion. This gift is available on an equal basis to men, women, and children.
Through the blessings of the priesthood, we can be equipped with the 'whole
armour of God, that [we] may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil'.
This protection is available to every one of us."
(Robert D. Hales, "Blessings of the Priesthood," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 32)
I don't have much to say today, I just wanted to quickly say hello again. Alyssa, I think you're the only one who ever reads this honey, so here you go. This is for you tonight. I'm back in action, and hoping to stay back. I want to hear from you too though girly, start it coming!

7.02.2010

Oh Luke!

Yesterday was a very busy day in this part of the world. There are two things I just love to be a part of. Holiday celebrations, and (other people's) Birthday celebrations. Yesterday was a happy day in both departments.
July 1st is the birthday of this fine country in which I live. I just love Canada! I don't think I've stopped to think much about what I love about this fair country, since I was assigned to do so in elementary school. So here it goes. My two favourite things about Canada:
- Beautiful scenery. Canada has it all from the mountains to the plains; from the wide open oceans to the tiny little rivers; from the big city skylines to the tiny little villages. Canada is a really beautiful place to visit and to live, from coast to coast.
- Freedom. I take for granted, too often, the fact that I'm in school, that I'm working, and that I am able to practice my religious beliefs. I don't want to do a ton of big things with my life, but the chance to be able to peacfully do the little things is something I often forget other people in the world don't have.

July 1st is also the birthday of my youngest brother. I just love Luke! I have two brothers and four sisters, and although I don't know how good it is of me to say this, Luke is my favourite. Shhh! He and I have always just had a connection, since he was born, and I love his birthday. I always like to make a big deal about his birthday, because so many people are celebrating Canada, that sometimes he gets lost in the shuffle. I always give him as much attention as possible. So these are my two favourite things about my 10 year old brother Luke:
- His laugh. Luke has this outrageous giggle that can make anyone around him smile. When you get him going he just goes and goes, and it is the cutest thing to listen to. His eyes squint up, and his smile gets as big as anything.
- The soft side of him. Luke is very rough around the edges, and it takes people a long time to warm up to him and to get used to him. He can be, at times, very harsh. But then there are these other times, that you only see every once in a while, where he is just the sweetest kid you'd ever want to know. Those times are great, because everyone just wants to be with him and near him so they can get their little dose of his giggle and his smiles.
SO, needless to say, there were lots of festivities yesterday and lots of exciting things to do.


(1) Wake up and put Lukes birthday cake in. I asked my mom if I could do the cake this year because I just recently bough a pan that I have been dying to use. Two birthdays in one day seemed appropriate for this masterpiece. I love this thing. It is so cute. Introducing:

the Wilton Giant Cupcake Tin.

(2) Go to the beach with the Ladies. Michelle, Vanessa and I ventured over to Halifax to a little lake called Kearney Lake, to visit our new found friend Aliesja. We enjoyed a lovely swim, a little bit of tanning, and a random break out of song and dance as Party in the USA by Miley Cirus played on my cell phone. It was fantastic. I just love these girls; I say that a lot, but they are so fantastic, and aways great for a memory or two


(3) Then home for a BBQ and Luke festivities. I came home all ready to decorate the cake and to get his present started, and the cake was a mess. It baked so awkwardly, it was aeful. But luckily my dad is very crafty and handy and him and I cut it down and shaped it up a bit and were able to some how form a decent shape out of the whole mess. This was my first time making and icing a real cake, that actually mattered, and so the end result was not beautiful but he's 10. He didn't really care!

Then I had this crazy idea that I wanted to give Luke $10, but that I couldn't just give it to him in any normal way. So my dad and I spent about half an hour squeezing twoonies into water baloons. (Which, by the way, is just as hard as it sounds) We went through about 20 of them just to put five twoonies in them. But Luke thought it was cool, and now he has amo for the next hot sunny day and money for the next gross cloudy mall day.

(4) Play with Hannah. My youngest sister Hannah broke her leg at the beginning of the summer and poor girl was left inside in her wheel chair most of the day while everyone was outsie playing and stuff. Don't feel too bad for her, she had the computer, and it kept her more than happy. But I decided it was time to get out before she went crazy so we headed outside to play. We brought a board game outside and played it in the sun, on the driveway. Then we spent some time making chalk drawings. When I went into the house to grab batteries, she took over the whole driveway and all that was left for me to use was the road. So my little Canada Day message ended up on the street.


(5) Traditional fireworks at Alderney. In the evening Michelle and I made our way downtown Dartmouth to watch the big fireworks show. You can see them almost anywhere in Dartmouth, but it's tradition for us to go down there to watch them. It was a decent show, but a bit too many people and way too much traffic for my liking. It was fun though, and at the end of it, as everyone tried to move their cars through the massive road bloacks, Michelle and I sat in the grass at the park and waited it out. We enjoyed a lovely half h our or so of grass sitting, star gazing, and reminising about this and past summer days.
What another bright, sunny happy day (with a photobook of memories) in the east of Canada. It was long, and tiring, but at the end of it, I can't wait to do it all again next year.

Oh Canada, I love you. Oh Luke, I love you more!