I'm planning to stop making plans.

These past couple of days I have really been missing Calgary. Yesterday was a really gross and rainy day in the east, and today was not REALLY pleasant either.
I don't really know exactly what it is that I'm missing, I just really wish I was there.
I spent the day yesterday (before going to work) working on my taxes for 2008 and 2009, and applying for student loans. It was litterally exhausting. By the end of it I was so frustratd, so tired and so cranky I was almost late for work due to my mild anxious episode. I totally freaked out. I hate dealing with stuff like this. It's hard work. I hate money. I just want to be back in Calgary; because when I'm finally there, it means all this other stuff has been looked after. I also tried to call for the appartment I wanted, yesterday, and found out I won't know anything about it until late August (which is past when I really wanted to be moved in)! It was just a frustrating day, and today was not much better. I feel like I'm doing all this work and not getting anything out of it.
I'm always working on something, talking to someone, working through something, and yet I have no idea what I've accomplished lately. I just feel stuck, and I don't know how to get unstuck. Any ideas?
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to complain. I do know it will all work out, because I do know that Calgary is where I am supposed to be, and I do know I'm supposed to be going to school and all of that. I know it has to work out, but it's taking a long time for me to adjust to being one of those people who has no plans! I usually plan everything. It's kind of ridiculous, even I know that. But it keeps me sane. I know, in advanced, what I'm going to wear, what I'm going to eat, what I'm going to do, who I'm going to see, every day! I know it's kind of silly, and I know it doesn't always work out according to the plan but I am just one of the ones who needs the security of having the plan.
Right now I have no plan. I haven't really had a plan since I finished school in April. I knew I was moving back to Nova Scotia in May, and that is all I had planned. It's really hard for me to go with the flow and I feel like the entire world around me is like a huge river. I'm too scared to jump in, because I don't have a pool noodle or anything to grab onto. I'm all ready with my swim suit and sun screen, but I can't take that leap. I need to learn to go with the flow. Maybe I'll start by not planning farther than a month ahead. Then maybe, someday, I'll be able to live my life day by day, in the moment. I've always wanted to be that fun and spontaneous girl everyone loves to love. I'm planning to work my way toward her.
I don't know how it will happen yet. I don't know how it's supposed to turn out, but maybe that's the beauty of it. I haven't worked out all the details yet, but maybe that's supposed to be a good thing. I don't really know how this is supposed to work, but maybe that's what will make it so adventurous. I could use adventure in my life.
So here it goes. This is the plan: to stop making plans!

Happy Sunday.

Sundays aren't usually very eventful days for me (an I'm okay with that). Sunday is my day of the week for me. It's my day to think about me and my life (in relation to the things of the Gospel), and to work on things for me. I usually end up reading a lot on Sundays, and I come across lots of good stuff. Today we had a really good talk from Brother MacLennan, in our branch presidency, and I came home and read a little bit from a book he quoted from.
The book is called Believing Christ, by Stephen E. Robinson. It's another one of those books that are just fantastic to turn to, during bumpy times. I can turn to just about any page from this book and quote something that has had some form of an affect on teh way I look at Jesus Christ, and his sacrafice for all of us. It's got some incredible things in it and I really recommend it!
This week's happy little Sunday quote comes from this book.

"No one who thinks he can work out his own salvation has the

necessary humility to recieve the cleansing of Christ's atonement:

'He offereth himself a sacrafice for sin, to answer the ends of the

law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit;

and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered' (2 Ne. 2:7)"

(Believing Christ, Robinson, 73)

Lately I've been totally stubborn, in thinking I can do everything on my own. I litterally have this vision in my mind of me needing NO help with ANYTHING. And that's the way I'm comfortable being. I'm never one to ask for help, or even recieve it well, for anything. This chapter, actually the entire book, has been great though. It's all about needing Christ's help, and being able to ask for it and accept it.

If there's something you out there are struggling with, ask someone smarter than you. There is always goign to be someone you know who's better at SOMETHING than you are: maybe he/she just has a bit more experience in that field. There is always someone around you to help. If you need the help, do not be afraid to ask. Getting help is not a weakness, and it can often help you to develop your strengths.

God Never Blinks.

Right now I'm reading this really fantastic book called God Never Blinks, by Regina Brett. She is an amazing woman, and the stories she tells about her life are just fantastic. It's 50 chapters long, and each is a lesson life has taught her.
When I'm having those feeling kinda down, the world is out to get me, feeling really sorry for myself kind of moments (or days) I turn, first to the Book of Mormon, but then to this book for advice and encouragement. When I need it given to me plain and simple; direct and to the point, I spend a couple of minutes with Regina. She's fantastic.
Today I had to take the bus to work. I hate the bus, especially in Halifax. Although they pride themselves on an excellent transit system, it is hard to get from A to B without passing through C D E and F first. So a trip from Home to Work (taking maybe 10 minutes in a car) forces me to leave almost an hour early, just to make it one time. ANYWAY what started out as a rant about this bus is about to get better: I got to spend about 45 minutes in the book today. And I'm grateful for that.
Today was Lesson 18: A Writer Is Someone Who Writes. If You Want to Be a Writer, Write. Well I do NOT want to be a writer. But there are many other big and important things I dream of being able to do.
Right now (and pretty much since I finished school and came home for the summer), I've been in a bit of a rut. I feel like I'm not learning, I'm not growing, I'm not being productive, and I'm deffinately not excited about anything I have going on right now. I've wasted a lot of time being jealous of those around me, and not working to make my life as good as their's seem. Regina retells a story (originally told by a writer named Anne Lamott), about a little boy. He was 10 and working on a school project (that he was given 3 weeks to do) at the last moment. He sat at the table surrounded by books and books about the birds for his report. His dad said to him "Bird by Bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird."
Sometimes I feel like a little school child. Like I have projects, reports and assignments that have all been left to the very last minute. I sometimes feel like I'm running out of time to do all the things I need to do, let alone the things I want to do. But today, while I was in the book, I read something that helped me out jsut a little bit. Regina said :

"Writing is that simple. So are most seemingly overwhelming

projects and plans we undertake if we take them piece by piece

bird by bird."

Tonight was a really really really slow night at work. In a 5 hour shift, I litterally saw 3 customers. I had a lot of time to think while I was there, and I had the use of the computer. I spent a lot of time figuring some things out. Bird by Bird. Even after just one night, I feel a little bit better. I feel a little more like I can conquor my life, and not just survive it. Like I can learn to enjoy it, and not jsut endure it.

Bit by Bit. Bird by Bird. Piece by Piece. Step by step I am going to do what I need to do to get excited about my life. I have a good life. I have a lot going for me. Now I just need to figure out how all those things are going to work together for my good!

Fun (things) in the Sun.

I didn't have to work today! Halifax handed us another gorgeous, sunny day, with nice big tempuratures, and I got to enjoy it all.

(1) A great big, tall glass of water. While I was outside today, all day, this water kept me hydrated and healthy. Water with ice; great stuff.

(2) The music. Between driving and sitting and reading, and all the lazy things I did in the sun today, the radio and my, as mentioned, Walt Disney CD treated me quite nicely. I just love the oldies station, 92.9 Today's Lite Rock, has done me well. Today's bright sunny tunes included:

What a Feeling (Flashdance) - Irene Cara
Take My Breath Away - Top Gun Soundtrack - Berlin

How Does She Know - Enchanted Soundtrack

...and many more.
(3) Bright pink toes. After reading, for a while, and sitting outside, I painted my toes a friendly, cute little shade of pink. I just love pink nail polish, it's my favourite. There's just something so fun about really cute looking fingers and toes, and sitting and laying in the freshly cut grass made them even better.

(the freshly cut grass curtousy of ... ME)

(4) A good old fashoined workout. That is right, I mowed the lawn. All me, all alone. I started the mower and everything (which was the hardest part by the way). I felt like a real, grown up, woman after that. I was so big and tough, you should have seen me. (I did, however, wear my bathing suit top and shorts; in effort to get a little colour while I slaved away in the backyard). I was one grassy, sweaty, oily mess after that one, but it was worth it. It felt great to be out there in the sun doing something new. I've never mowed a lawn before. It was liberating! I jsut might try it again sometime.

Nothing's gonna stop me now.

(5) Breafast for dinner. I love lazy days, when no one feels like cooking. "What is the easiest thing, that we can make in bulk (to feed the masses), that still tastes good?" The answer is always going to be eggs. Some form of eggs, scrambled, sunyside up, egg salad. They're just so easy, and delicious. Breakfast is the best meal, and when I', always missing in the mornings, dinner seems like the perfect time to get caught up on my daily dose of deliciousness.

(6) Michelley Meesh. Her and I have a bit to much fun together, I think. This evening we went quickly to the beach to see this, and honestly, it was a little cold, and pretty cloudy.

But then we got to talking and decided a shopping trip was in order. We headed home to shower and eat, quick as we could, and went shopping. We went to Winners to look for dresses and shoes for Meesh (where we found no dress. we did find cute shoes, on sale, but I wouldn't let her buy them because we're saving up and they will not go in her suitcase when we move back to Alberta). Then we went to a hair salon where I found the perfect sade of nail polish, I've been looking for. I found 70291- Pink Voltage (Neon) by China Glaze, and I just love it. I did buy it because I've been loking for it for a long time and ALSO it fits just fine in a suitcase, adn weighs next to nothing!

Then we went to institute at the church (showing up alte becasue our shopping adventure got a little out of hand), and then decided to be social. We joined the gang at Applebee's for half price appetizers and a chance to be a little bit socialble this fine Friday night.

Wow. Much longer, more involved, day than I expected it to be (or that I expected to talk to you about). It was a good one though. Another big huge summer day, of 27 degrees, to follow.

Goodnight all. I do hope summer is treating you each well, and bringing you a daily dose of a few of your very favourite things!

"Dreams do come true." - Walt Disney

Today Michelle and I were listening to music, while we wrote some letters to a couple of friends. I went to the computer and put on my Walt Disney playlist and decided it was a good time to make a new CD. This CD is fantastic. I just love it!
But while I was downloading and listening to about a million Disney songs, looking for the perfect bunch to put on my CD, I listened well to each song's lyrics. He is a guy who (or who's writers)really knows what he's talking about. Some of these songs teach some fairly valuable lessons (while being really fun to sing along to). Here are jsut a couple of things that sparked some thoughts tonight.

"When you find out you can live without it, and go along not thinking about it, I'll tell you something true: the bare necessities of life will come to you." - The Jungle Book

"Life s brief, but when it's gone, love goes on and on." - Robin Hood

"If I can learn to do it, you can learn to do it. Something in you knows it, there's nothing to!" - Anastasia

"A dream is a wish your heart makes." - Cinderella

Sometimes I think I was at the peak of my life at age 7 or so. There are so many things that were so clear to me then, that I seem to forget all too easily now. Everything was so simple; I was on top of the world. Funny that now, when I feel completely the opposite about my life, I've gone back to the songs and movies of those times for support and encouragement. I just love Walt Disney, he's great. Any favourites from his songs or movies?
One of my favourites as a kid (not so much anymore) was The Land Before Time. Although the story and animation is kind of lost on my now, the song If We Hold On, from that movie, takes the cake for chessiest, most uplifting song of the night.

"Don't lose your way with each passing day. You've come so far, don't throw it away. Live believing; dreams are for weaving. Wonders are waiting to start. Live your story: faith hope and glory. Hold to the truth in your heart. If we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die. Dreams see us through to forever, where clouds roll by, for you and I"

Deffinately cute, and deffinately corny. But that's what looking back on childhood is all about isn't it?

it was good.

Today was another beautiful sunny day in the east of Canada. I paused a couple of times today to look at what I saw around me, at what I was able to do with the day, and it was good. The weather was good; the drive home from the beach was good; the movie I watched was good; the pizza for supper was good; the swim in the neighbours' pool was good.
Then I was tucking my youngest sister into bed, and she asked me if I'd read with her. I was really impressed when she whipped out the book she wanted to read to me. Hannah is right now reading (to herself and by herself) the creation story, found in Genesis, in the Old Testament. She pulled out "the big scripture book" and read me verses 11-31, of Genesis 1, all on her own. It was the cutest thing to hear her reading those words. I've found it hard lately to stay in the habit of reading my scriptures. To hear her so excited to read really helped me to listen to what was being said, and here are a couple things I just loved to hear her read.
(1) "...and it was so." God had plans to create this beautiful earth, that we enjoy each day. He laid them out bit and bit. He spoke of how He wanted it to be, and it was so. He spoke of the plants. He spoke of the creatures (of the air, earth and water). He spoke of the light (from the sun, moon and stars). And it was all created, just so. Just as He envisioned it, just as He planned it, and just as He wanted it. It was so.
(2) "...and God saw that it was good." All things He created were done so in a perfect manner. He took pride in his creation, and knew that it was just right. Each thing He created, for us, was done in a way that He approved. All that He wanted for us was created, and it was good.
(3) "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." We are each children of God, and we have each inherited qualities that He possess. I am so grateful for the this knowledge that I have been taught. Sometimes, as I go through my little life, this simple truth that I have always known grows more and more distant. I know it, but sometimes I don't quite believe it. What are those qualities, He has blessed me with, that make me like Him? What is it, about me, that was made in His image?
It's a pretty great thing to know that He wanted me to be created "in His image," and that "it was so." I love to know that He once looked upon His creation and "saw that it was good." Tonight I needed to be reminded of that, and how glad I am that my sister needed to read that.

I love you Daddy.

An obvious, yet heart-felt, Thank You goes out to all the Dads out there. I love my dad, he's jsut the best!
I have always been my Daddy's little girl and am so grateful for all he's given and done for me. He's always worked really hard for my family, and tried hard to teach us how to do the same. I'm much like my father, and as such, find it really hard to express emotion or feeling. I do love my dad, and know that he loves me, but it's not something often said between us. I missed him and his wise counsel while I was away from home this year and I would just like to take this day, dedicated to him, to express that openly. I Love You Daddy.
Today wasn't as good as most Sundays for me. It started out lousy, got a bit better, and finished okay. I did, however, enjoy the talk given in church today by Bishop Pilling. He spoke about fathers' responsibilities to his children and families. I am gratefulf for all my father does to uphold those responsibilities and to ensure that we are each taken care of.
Along with this shout out to the dads, I also want to say a quick thank you to all the great men in my life. I have been really blessed to know and love all of you, and because of your examples and love for me. I thought much today about the priesthood, and how lucky I am to be a part of a church where so many men around me have the opportunity to use this sacred power. I am grateful for it and am truely blessed to have it so readily available to me, as I need it. I don't know how people get along without this power and without the worthy men around us all, who use it so wisely.
So thank you to all those big strong men around me who are jsut trying to do what's right. Thanks for sticking it out and for staying strong. Thanks for doing your best, and for being worthy to help me in all the ways I need and want you to. You guys do so much and you are all great. Keep up the good work!

"who made this big mess?"

Saturdays seem to be the day of the week when we all take a deep breath and try to proccess what the past week has thrown at us, while anticipating what the week ahead will hold.
This Saturday morning, this family found ourselves in the midst of an absolute pig stye. We were all up early and from the beginning to the end of this wonderful day "off", we cleaned and cleaned, and ran errands, and cleaned. In all honesty though, what sounds like an absolutely awful day, is actually one of my favourite things to do on a nice breezy afternoon. I love to clean. It's true, I am a neat freak. You wouldn't know it by looking at my own bedroom (and I'm not yet sure why that is) but I kill for a really clean rest of the house.

3 things I loved about today's cleaning frenzy:

(1) A very clean floor, in a nice tidy family room, to lay on and watch a movie.

(2) Fresh new sheets on my bed to climb into at night.

(3) Finding a really old memory stick, that I thought was lost, with ton of old pictures on it.

Here's a taste of what 2007 and 2008 handed me and my family.

Sometimes I miss the good old days. This is Chritmas 2008, Family Reunion 2008 and random back yard fun Spring 2008.

"what a beautiful day. isn't it just the most beautiful day?" - You've Got Mail

Today was not another grey or rainy day at all. It was a gorgeous, warm and sunny, summer day in this corner of the world. This huge 31degree day snuck up on me so quickly, I didn't even make any plans for it.
I went shopping this morning, with Mamma Bear. We spent the morning out running errands. Nothing too exciting though. We picked up a couter top for our under renovations bathroom (which I picked out by the way). Then we went to the craft store, a video store, a clothing store and then to home. I didn't have much time to do anything else after that, and before heading out to work.
I work part-time in a copy centre. It's a lot of fun, and I usually enjoy it. Nights like tonight, however, are not ones on which most people find photocopies at the top of their priority lists. The nice weather, and the kick off to this weekend made it a slow night tonight. But I was able to print off a couple of pictures and to finish up my journal project, from yesterday!
Lucky for me, the evening was just as beautiful as the day today. Vanessa and Michelle came calling and we wandered down to the waterfront boardwalk for a lovely stroll and some precious conversation. I just love these girlies! They always brighten my day up with funny stories, happy songs, and good old memories. Tonight was Karaoke night at the Ale House down there, and we started our own little party outside as we walked along the boardwalk. Bet you've never heard I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Katherine ft. Vanessa and Michelle! You're missin out. I had that song stuck in my head ALL night after hearing it at work.
Can you blame me? I wanna dance with somebody, wanna feel the HEAT with somebody. I wanna dance with somebody, somebody who loves me! But who doesn't right?

a small and simple girl

Hello to all of you who have come across this blog. As mentioned, my name is katherine elizabeth.
I have a good friend (Laura) who is addicted to blogging. I admit that I have read her entries, and where I thought an intervention first seemed like a good idea, I have newly found an interesting way to spend a couple minutes of each day thinking and writing.
I live a plain and simple life. Do not expect to come across anything life changing or absolutely fascinating here, it is likely not to go that way. But I do enjoy my little life.
I'm from a little part of the world in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I do love it there, and my family does too, but I have recently found myself drawn to the west coast of Canada instead. I spent the last school year away at university in Calgary, Alberta. I am "home" now, for the summer (although home is a very fluid concept for me these days) and have found myself very restless and almost board of it. Granted the weather probably has much to do with that feeling, as grey skies and rain are not what a girl looks forward to in her months of summer vacation. But the last couple of days have brought sunshine, warm temperatures and a need to be a bit more sociable. The beach is one asset of Halifax, that Calgary lacks. Severely.
But inevitably the clouds do occasionally roll in and the rain does eventually fall on that little parade (it is the maritimes after all). And on days such as these I find myself very grateful for the collection of creative genes my dear mother has passed on to me.
I spent this grey afternoon watching a movie and working on a little project, of many, that I have on the go. While I watched the movie Emma I found myself lost in the love stories and the language. i knew I needed to put the right side of my brain to work. I have another good friend who has a journal she's covered in pictures and magazine clippings. I have lots of pictures, lots of old magazines and a big wonderful journal I recently bought that had an ugly cover. So I brought out the scissors, glue, ribbon, paper and magazines and went to work.
As I was flipping through and old children's' magazine, I found a clipping of a saying, used often in my church. By small and simple things, are great things brought to pass. I completely agree with this statement, and know that it is by the small and simple things I do and say, each day, that the wonderfully great things have come to be a part of who I am. And so, along with a fun afternoon of cutting and pasting, came the sudden urge to venture into my little corner of this big old blog world I hear so much about, all the time.
So hello world. Here I am at kepinsent.blogspot.com. I'm venturing to make my small and simple contribution.