in 5 years.

Today was another kind of crumby day. It didn't feel too productive and I'm still, as u have been lately, in a yucky rut that I can't seem to escape.
I got into a big fight with my parents tonight about it. It's hard because I already know what they're going to say when I ask them for advice and they already know that I'm not going to like it. So round and round we go in this big circle of frustration, solving NOTHING. We get each other so wound up that eventually the only way out of the mess is to spiral out of control, at an unbearable speed in an extememly inorderly fashion. So tonight, about half through the spiral, I just had to stop. I walked away still hanging mid air, half wound up tight and half way out of control. So here are 3 good things to help intangle me from a mess (instead of just letting go to see what happens):
(1) Running.I hate to run. I have never been a good runner, and the idea of going out and just...running...had always been a bit hazy to me. But since I've started going to the gym and stuff, running is a life saver. I still don't do it too often; I would much rather just do weights or yoga or something, but a midnight run, when you can hear nothing but your own breathing and footsteps, does real good work for the mind.
(2) talking with a real good friend. I know these are all really cliché, but its fantastic how reliable they all are, in my inconsistent and spirally life. When I got back from my run, I texted my long distance work out buddy, James. Him and I have been trying to encourage each other (from separate ends of the country) to work out lots this summer. James always makes me feel good about myself, and he always makes for good conversation. I just love the chances I get to talk with him, and can't wait to be his next door neighbour, come the fall, back in Calgary.
(3) a real good book. I'm still reading God Never Blinks, and I'm still loving it. I just read it everyone once in a while when I need something uplifting, but not too intense. When I got home tonight I went out into the cool and quiet back yard and read a chapter of my book. I read Lesson 26- "Frame Every So-Called Disaster with These Words: 'In Five Years, Will This Matter?'", and you know what, it won't.
In 5 years it won't matter that:
-I fought with my parents tonight
-this summer is not going, at all, according to "the plan"
-today was a crummy, unproductive day
-I don't know how I'm going to pay for school
-or that, if worst come to worst, I don't end up being able to go to school this semester
-or that I have a head ache from running, and cannot sleep
There are so many things going on right now for me that just will not matter 5 years from now. Some won't matter in 5 months; some in 5 weeks; some in 5 days.
I worry too much about the small things. I am glad for these tiny moments when I am relaxed enough to at least recognize that. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it right? I don't have enough brain space for such little tiny issues. In five years from now, will I even remember this blog entry? Absolutely not! So it's time to stop worrying. Here it goes.